 Do you have fear of public speaking? Did you know your belly can help you? Read the rest of my article by Downloadling here I do ask for your email but you can unsubscribe any time. And do tell me what your experience has been using your belly! Write to me at cathy@womenspeakup.org.
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Don’t blame your text-filled slides on “learning styles” – because learning styles don’t exist.10/16/2018  For decades, we have believed that people have “learning styles.” For instance, a “visual learner” might prefer pictures, an auditory learner might learn best from hearing something, etc. Now research tells us something that many educators have known for a long time: Learning styles are a myth. This pervasive concept doesn’t just live in the classroom, though. It’s also infected the corporate conference room where presenters often use a learning styles approach to figure out what to put on presentation slides. And the method has often led them astray – allowing them to use way too much text and then sprinkle a generic image on a slide or two occasionally.
Are there really people who want to “read” slides? I have always been skeptical of applying learning styles to slide design. How would slapping the “shaking hands” clip art on a slide make the bullets list next to it riveting? Is it really just a matter of sprinkling a stop sign here, a globe there, and then the magic begins? I guess what really bothered me is that using the “learning styles” technique actually made slides worse. The truth is, there is no learning style that prefers boring. But if research suggests that learning styles don’t really exist – what do we put on slides? The problem is that presenters need help figuring out what the heck to put on their slides! And there isn’t a lot of guidance out there. But through my work with hundreds of presenters and my study of slide principles I've developed some guidelines for use by people whose main job is not creating presentations. But first, we have to tell the truth: Up to now, your slides have been your speaker notes You don’t want to admit, do you? But if you really analyze what’s on your slides you’re going see that you put stuff there not for the audience but for you to remember what to say. You might have rationalized it as “good for reading-based learning styles” but like Walter White in Breaking Bad, it was all for you. But it’s okay! It’s okay to use slides a bit to help you, but there are better ways to help you remember what to say – why not just print up notes if you need them? Here’s how to make great slides First, like Fight Club, whose first rule is, well, you know; in Slide Club, first rule is we don’t think about slides. That’s Zen, right? Well here’s what Garr Reynolds of Presentation Zen says… “I love technology, and I think slideware can be very effective in many situations. But for planning, I say "go analog" — paper and pen, white boards, a note pad in your pocket as you take a walk down the beach with your dog...whatever works for you. Peter Drucker said it best: "The computer is a moron." You and your ideas (and your audience) are all that matter. So try getting away from the computer in the early stages, the time when your creativity is needed most. For me at least, clarity of thinking and a generation of ideas come when my computer and I are far apart.” Okay, so imagine you have brainstormed a list of points you want to make – whether in Microsoft Word on back of your beer coaster. (As long as it isn’t in PowerPoint yet.) For each point you need to make in your presentation, you need to ask yourself certain questions. For the sake of example, imagine that one point you want to make is “Our competitors spend more on marketing than we do.” Here’s what you nee to ask: What does my audience need to see before they believe that “Our competitors spend more on marketing than we do. ”Does your audience need to see data? Do they need to see a comparison of what they spend to what we spend – as raw numbers, as percentages, over time, etc. Try to focus on 1 or 2 key data points that they can remember easily -rather than an array of numbers. Does your audience need to see images? Would a bunch of competitors’ logos help show how many spend more than we do? How about photos or screen shots of their marketing campaigns? Pictures of press articles? If you do use images – make sure the images are large and clear and not weighed down with text. Does your audience need an analogy? Sometimes an analogy can be a very compelling way of making a point. Imagine that you wanted to make the point that investing less in marketing is hurting your brand. Is your brand the “Clark Kent” that could be made into Superman with more investment? Or is there an underfunded sports team the audience is familiar with? Maybe there is a past investment in your company that paid off and you could use that as an analogy? Does your audience need quotes? Maybe you have a quote from someone at a competitor talking about their big ROI on marketing spends. Quotes on a slide can have a big impact – especially if they are large and easy to read. And last – does your audience really need text on a slide? What words do they HAVE to read? Probably very few so put as little text on a slide as possible. But do pay attention to text on the most important part of the slide: the title Slide titles are usually pretty bad because they don’t give enough info, but instead contain one generic word like “overview” “metrics,” etc. But the slide title is critical to audience engagement with the slide – and can make a difference with how well they remember the content. Consider using a question – audiences love to see their own questions in print and it shows them you are thinking about them. Or try a statement that begins with “How,” or “Why.” (How Company X secured funding for marketing) (Why we need to increase marketing spend.) Whatever you do, think engage with your titles, and not just label. So instead of learning styles: use this as your guide: Every human being likes information that is easy to understand, easy to relate to, and easy to remember. What's one EASY thing can you do to make yourself a more effective speaker, presenter, and writer?10/6/2018  Your audiences’ questions are gold! |
 | This blog is a "Take the Mic takeaway" - excerpts from my podcast interview with Lindsay Sabadosa. Listen here. |
Lindsay Sabadosa of Northampton Mass has been an activist, an organizer, and an impassioned advocate for women's health, and many other issues for, well, a long time, because she started at 9-years-old! Although the life-long activist never thought that she would run for office, she eventually changed her mind after so many community members told her she should. Now she is a candidate for State Representative in the Massachusetts First Hampshire District.
On her very early start in activism
When I was nine years old I lived in Westfield, Massachusetts and we had a local branch of our library that was a very important place to me. I volunteered there. I spent a lot of time helping set up the arts and crafts that they did every weekend for children in the community. I learned the whole Dewey Decimal System, which is very exciting as a child. It was just this really magical place. The staff was wonderful. They really connected with the children and with community as a whole. And it was a place where people did come together and there weren't a lot of those places in our town. So you can imagine it was fairly devastating when the city decided to close down that branch library because of budget cuts.
So along with my mother, we organized a protest march. People I’ve spoken to when I visit claim it remains the only protest march that has ever happened there. I think someone should change that soon. But we were one of the first organizers in town and so we organized the march from through the city to the main branch of the library where we were met by the mayor. The march was really just to say cutting the budget for a place in the community that is important to people is really not acceptable. And it was scary because I was nine and I had to go up to the mayor and in some way, and I don't remember what I said, but in some way try to verbalize the fact that budgets are values and he was not representing the values of the community by the budget cuts that he was selecting.
So I actually got to sit down with the mayor after that, he invited me to his offices. It was very, very intimidating as a child to go into the mayor's office and talk about budgets. But I went and I expressed my views and he told me that I was wrong basically, and that they were going to have to cut the library anyway so we didn't win the fight. But it definitely taught me that whether you win or lose, it is still absolutely important to speak up and to make sure that another viewpoint is being heard. Because if we hadn’t been heard, if we hadn't organized that march, he wouldn't have known that he was cutting something essential to the community. Westfield is a big place, so the branch library was on the north side of town, but all of the sort of business district is on the other side. He wasn't aware of what was happening in this sort of other place in town where we really didn't have a spot to go besides the library. So I'm grateful that I had the courage to stand up and tell him and I'm grateful for that experience of learning that you always, always, always stand up for what you believe in and that's something that I have carried with me for the rest of my life.
I think maybe this is coming through a little bit in this conversation, I was definitely someone who loves to debate."
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This is a transcript of my Take the Mic podcast interview with Mary Ann Marzano. Click to listen to the interview on iTunes (Ep. 6)
Note to readers: I'm experimenting with posting the transcripts of interviews from my podcast, Teke the Mic. Please forgive the imperfect formatting.
Cathy Welcome to episode number six of Take the Mic podcast. Take the mic is the podcast that highlights women who use their voice to change the world. You can now listen to us on iTunes and Stitcher and you could learn more about us at WomenSpeak Up.org .
A few years ago I ran into Mary Ann Marzano at a women's business networking meeting and she was being honored as (WBOA)businesswoman of the year, which is just a tiny reflection of how active she is in the community. But the coolest thing was that Mary Ann and I had gone to high school together. Although our high school class had million kids in it, so we didn't know each other so well, but it’s been great to reconnect. Mary Ann is a business owner and mentor to women, but she's also an impassioned speaker, and we even had the chance to give our TEDx talks together last fall. She is a speaker who talks about a lot of different topics - creating and funding and running an orphanage in Haiti and her work in Haiti, helping to support women, to name a few. Mary Ann is also going to talk about what she does in challenging speaking situations when she has to work with a translator and she's going to teach us a new word. So Mary Ann, welcome and tell us about yourself.
Cathy Welcome to episode number six of Take the Mic podcast. Take the mic is the podcast that highlights women who use their voice to change the world. You can now listen to us on iTunes and Stitcher and you could learn more about us at WomenSpeak Up.org .
A few years ago I ran into Mary Ann Marzano at a women's business networking meeting and she was being honored as (WBOA)businesswoman of the year, which is just a tiny reflection of how active she is in the community. But the coolest thing was that Mary Ann and I had gone to high school together. Although our high school class had million kids in it, so we didn't know each other so well, but it’s been great to reconnect. Mary Ann is a business owner and mentor to women, but she's also an impassioned speaker, and we even had the chance to give our TEDx talks together last fall. She is a speaker who talks about a lot of different topics - creating and funding and running an orphanage in Haiti and her work in Haiti, helping to support women, to name a few. Mary Ann is also going to talk about what she does in challenging speaking situations when she has to work with a translator and she's going to teach us a new word. So Mary Ann, welcome and tell us about yourself.
ILookLikeAPolitician Ambassador Jessica Gottsleben gives her winning speech at the 10th Annual Young Women to Watch Awards, on March 15th, 2016
In my recent podcast interview with Susannah Wellford, founder and director of Running Start, I learned some magic words. And weirdly, just by saying these words out loud or even silently in my head, I get an instant confidence boost.
But first, a word about the very neat work of Running Start. At Running Start, Susannah and her team inspire and prepare girls and young women to get involved in political life. And a big part of that work is helping women imagine themselves in a powerful political role, especially when they don’t see a lot of role models in political institutions. And of course, this lack of visibility is worse for women and girls of color, or who come from poor families, or who are LGBTQ. So confidence building is a critical task in all the programs they offer. And that’s where the “magic words” come in.
“My name is ….and I am running for….”
Running Start encourages the girls and young women in their many programs to get comfortable saying these words: “My name is … and I am running for….”. Susannah says the impact of that sentence is immediate. “You can see it right away. They stand up a little taller - they just feel more confident.” It’s the power of those words - even it they are not true (yet.) The the young women are asked to hold that statement in their heads and mentally rehearse it whenever possible.
Your turn!
So why don’t you try it - right now! “My name is … and I am running for…. “ Don’t stress about what you’re running for - pick anything (but it’s fun to use “Congress!”). And the best part is, you don’t have to actually run for anything to get the benefit! (although you can!)
My name is .... and I am running for ..."
Acting “as if”
Doing this kind of ”acting as if” (or fake it till you make it) exercise reminds me a lot of the power poses that Amy Cuddy popularized in 2012. In case you need a refresher, Cuddy set out to prove that people who adopted a power pose for two minutes (hands on hips, or arms raised and feet on desk, etc) would feel more powerful, and this feeling could give them confidence in a high-stress situation. Her research has clearly established that the poses, or what she now calls “postural feedback,” do make the “posers” feel more powerful, although they do not appear to experienced the hormonal effect she first suggested. I have been a dedicated power poser (often in a bathroom stall!) since hearing her Ted talk so many years ago, and always loved the feeling it gave me. I felt the same kind of confidence and power from saying Susannah’s magic words.
Take the Mic - no, really!
Running Start does something else to get women to experience their own power - it requires them to speak with a mic when doing public speaking in the program. Jessica Kelly, Programs and Leadership director, noticed that many young women they worked with say “Oh, I don’t need to use a mic.” While some of them, according to Jessica, may have voices that can carry well, she believes the refusal more often suggests a reticence to have their voice amplified. “Women are socialized not to take the mic, not to take up space or volume,” she says, “but political candidates and leaders have to willing to have their voice command the space they are in.” She says that its critical that girls and young women learn to let their voices have volume if they want to be powerful - and express that power.
Karaoke?
Jessica admits that her own comfort with a mic stems from her experience at karaoke as a teenager. Although shy, she and her high school friends would do so much karaoke that she got used to hearing her voice amplified. Now she’s able to use a mic comfortably and she highly recommends karaoke as a way to break down that mic resistance!
Of course I love the focus on “taking the mic,” since my podcast is called “Take the Mic.” And I admit that I love speaking with a mic! (My training ground was not karaoke, but stand up comedy.) But I want to know about you - does a mic bother you? Does it feel weird hearing your voice at a higher volume? Or did you learn to love it like Jessica and me? I would love to hear your mic story in the comment section.
Doing this kind of ”acting as if” (or fake it till you make it) exercise reminds me a lot of the power poses that Amy Cuddy popularized in 2012. In case you need a refresher, Cuddy set out to prove that people who adopted a power pose for two minutes (hands on hips, or arms raised and feet on desk, etc) would feel more powerful, and this feeling could give them confidence in a high-stress situation. Her research has clearly established that the poses, or what she now calls “postural feedback,” do make the “posers” feel more powerful, although they do not appear to experienced the hormonal effect she first suggested. I have been a dedicated power poser (often in a bathroom stall!) since hearing her Ted talk so many years ago, and always loved the feeling it gave me. I felt the same kind of confidence and power from saying Susannah’s magic words.
Take the Mic - no, really!
Running Start does something else to get women to experience their own power - it requires them to speak with a mic when doing public speaking in the program. Jessica Kelly, Programs and Leadership director, noticed that many young women they worked with say “Oh, I don’t need to use a mic.” While some of them, according to Jessica, may have voices that can carry well, she believes the refusal more often suggests a reticence to have their voice amplified. “Women are socialized not to take the mic, not to take up space or volume,” she says, “but political candidates and leaders have to willing to have their voice command the space they are in.” She says that its critical that girls and young women learn to let their voices have volume if they want to be powerful - and express that power.
Karaoke?
Jessica admits that her own comfort with a mic stems from her experience at karaoke as a teenager. Although shy, she and her high school friends would do so much karaoke that she got used to hearing her voice amplified. Now she’s able to use a mic comfortably and she highly recommends karaoke as a way to break down that mic resistance!
Of course I love the focus on “taking the mic,” since my podcast is called “Take the Mic.” And I admit that I love speaking with a mic! (My training ground was not karaoke, but stand up comedy.) But I want to know about you - does a mic bother you? Does it feel weird hearing your voice at a higher volume? Or did you learn to love it like Jessica and me? I would love to hear your mic story in the comment section.
Let’s start acknowledging what we know, and then sharing it.
I was recently coaching a software engineer on an upcoming presentation. She wanted to respond gracefully if an audience member asked about a topic she didn’t feel qualified to address. “I just don’t know enough about the project to talk about it.”
Curious, I asked her how much she did know about the topic. “Only about 80%,” she said. As soon as she heard herself say it aloud, she smiled at me. Because what that statement really meant was, “I know a lot about that topic.” But like many women I work with, she didn’t feel “qualified” to discuss it unless she knew 110% of the topic, and also maybe had a Ph.D. in it too. Women need to feel like a walking Wikipedia to open their mouths. Men will be an expert after glancing at a pamphlet in the subject.
This hesitance to speak is a rational response to a world that does ignore or under value women’s opinions and criticize them more harshly than men’s. (The research is here and here. ) And of course, we now have a vocabulary to describe the ways women’s voices are silenced: you know “mansplaining,” but now there’s also “manterrupting,” and “bropropriating,” in which a man takes credit for a woman’s idea. The problem is real, and women aren’t crazy to zip their lips.
But until women rule the universe, or at least are half of all CEOs and Senators, we have to figure out a strategy. And we must stop internalizing social messages about our value and our expertise. So how do we do that? Two great books on this topic are Playing Big by Tara Mohr and Secret Thoughts of Successful Women by Valerie Young. And here’s some tips to get you started today.
Curious, I asked her how much she did know about the topic. “Only about 80%,” she said. As soon as she heard herself say it aloud, she smiled at me. Because what that statement really meant was, “I know a lot about that topic.” But like many women I work with, she didn’t feel “qualified” to discuss it unless she knew 110% of the topic, and also maybe had a Ph.D. in it too. Women need to feel like a walking Wikipedia to open their mouths. Men will be an expert after glancing at a pamphlet in the subject.
This hesitance to speak is a rational response to a world that does ignore or under value women’s opinions and criticize them more harshly than men’s. (The research is here and here. ) And of course, we now have a vocabulary to describe the ways women’s voices are silenced: you know “mansplaining,” but now there’s also “manterrupting,” and “bropropriating,” in which a man takes credit for a woman’s idea. The problem is real, and women aren’t crazy to zip their lips.
But until women rule the universe, or at least are half of all CEOs and Senators, we have to figure out a strategy. And we must stop internalizing social messages about our value and our expertise. So how do we do that? Two great books on this topic are Playing Big by Tara Mohr and Secret Thoughts of Successful Women by Valerie Young. And here’s some tips to get you started today.
Women need to feel like a walking Wikipedia to open their mouths. Men will be an expert after glancing at a pamphlet in the subject.
1. Start with noticing what you tell yourself when you decide not to share an opinion, a perspective. Become an observer (without judging) of your own thought patterns, especially when you are at meetings or in other situations where you are hesitant to speak. Normally these nasty little messages (“I better not talk about this issue - I don’t want to look foolish.”) get transmitted at lightening speed so you barely notice them. But if you’re watching for them, you’ll hear them. Try to keep track of them for a few days. You will learn a LOT!
2. Next, start noticing the kind of contributions other people make, especially men. At meetings, take out your invisible magnifying glass to find out if their contributions are always brilliant, or just opinions dressed up to sound authoritative. What you are going to notice are a lot of people saying exactly what you were thinking because, in all likelihood, your perspective and observations are just as valuable as theirs, and often more.
3.Okay, you’re done noticing; now try a small step. Decide that you are going to speak up once or twice this week in a meeting. One thing that may help you is to prepare some “framers,” introductory phrases that can give you a structure that feels comfortable. Some examples are: “I believe we should consider...” “Why don’t we…” “There are three reasons we need to…,” “From my perspective… .” What you want to avoid however, is the “apology intro: “This may be a dumb idea…” “You all may have thought of this already, but …” or even, “I’m sorry, but I think we should…”
2. Next, start noticing the kind of contributions other people make, especially men. At meetings, take out your invisible magnifying glass to find out if their contributions are always brilliant, or just opinions dressed up to sound authoritative. What you are going to notice are a lot of people saying exactly what you were thinking because, in all likelihood, your perspective and observations are just as valuable as theirs, and often more.
3.Okay, you’re done noticing; now try a small step. Decide that you are going to speak up once or twice this week in a meeting. One thing that may help you is to prepare some “framers,” introductory phrases that can give you a structure that feels comfortable. Some examples are: “I believe we should consider...” “Why don’t we…” “There are three reasons we need to…,” “From my perspective… .” What you want to avoid however, is the “apology intro: “This may be a dumb idea…” “You all may have thought of this already, but …” or even, “I’m sorry, but I think we should…”
Women always question if they are qualified,” she said, “but look at all these clowns around us.”
And finally, here’s something to remember when you get down about the challenges of speaking up. In a recent article in the New York Times about the way men with no experience are dominating the cryptocurrency field, early crypto investor Arianna Simpson “said the surge of interest in virtual currencies from male novices should remind women that it did not take expertise or a Ph.D. to thrive in the system. Women always question if they are qualified,” she said, “but look at all these clowns around us.” Remember those “clowns” the next time you think knowing 80% is not enough. It is.
Would you like to get more help as you become a more comfortable, confident, and compelling speaker? Sign up on my mailing list below and I’ll send you some every few weeks.
Cathy McNally is founder and CEO of Women Speak Up! which provides speaker training and coaching for women who want to change the world. She is the host of the Take the Mic podcast, coming in April, 2018.
Use your belly to be a braver public speaker!
Public speaking is not really about hand gestures, posture, or eye contact. Sure, you’ve got to deal with those eventually, but what you MUST deal with first is the belly. Why? Because the belly is where we find our fear, our fire and our calm. First, the fear, the primary obstacle to speaking for many of us. The belly is a great hiding spot – or control room- for fear. It’s deep and dark and hidden from view. And unless you are a seasoned public speaker, you’re likely dealing with a lot of fear.
Fear is primal – prehistoric. It’s considered human’s first emotion, and It’s often beyond – or beneath – our conscious control. It’s also not rational much of the time. The Liz Gilbert, author of Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear says “Basically, your fear is like a mall cop who thinks he’s a Navy SEAL: He hasn’t slept in days, he’s all hopped up on Red Bull, and he’s liable to shoot at his own shadow in an absurd effort to keep everyone “safe.” And sometimes that cop keeps us from doing what we want – like stepping up to the podium, speaking at the rally, or even sharing our voice in a meeting.
So what can we do about fear of public speaking?
First we have to get used to feeling a little afraid every day, because we will. Next we have to listen to our fear to figure out what it’s really telling us. So get a pen and paper and think about your fear of public speaking. What EXACTLY are you afraid of? What would happen if your worst fears were to come true? Would people laugh at you? Leave your talk? Stand up and say, “that’s baloney!” (I’ve heard those fears – and many more.) No matter how wacky or even scary it seems, get it down in technicolor detail.
Now that you have named and described your fear, give yourself a pat on the back cause it’s not easy. Now ask yourself gently, “How realistic is my fear?” Many of things we fear are extremely unlikely, but still they help us identify feelings or memories holding us back. That’s why we have to flesh them out so carefully. But sometimes our fears are realistic, and they can tell us what we need to work on. I’m going to give you an example from my own experience.
Look to your belly to learn why you speak
There’s another reason to look to your belly - it’s where you find your fire - the fire that fuels your desire to speak. Maybe it’s an injustice that’s got you angry, a desire to change something, or a passion for the planet that makes you feel you must speak, even if you’re nervous about it.
For some of you, that fire may be a blazing bonfire that can be seen for miles; for others it may be tiny, sputtering little thing, more sparks than flame. It’s there, but it needs nurturing. That’s okay, you can nurture it. Be glad of your blaze whatever it is because many people don’t have a passion – or can’t find it.
Okay, one more thing about the belly
So the belly is your source of fear, and fire, but did you know it’s a built-in ever-ready relaxation machine? That’s because of its role in breathing. Your belly is an easy to see reminder that deep breaths help you get comfortable at any and every moment. And the power of breathing deeply is a secret weapon for great speakers – and nervous speakers. If you’ve ever taken yoga, meditation, or voice lessons, you know that deep “belly breaths” relax you, ground you, and focus you in the moment. Try it: place your hands on your belly and breathe so that your belly swells as the air fills your lungs. It’s not that the air actually goes into your belly, but deep breaths make your diaphragm push down on your belly.
“Belly breathing” is an instant way to relax yourself before and during speaking. And it works to help deepen your voice and slow your talking speed, two things which can help you sound more powerful and authoritative. The next time you have a challenging speaking situation, try breathing your way through it. Many speakers I work with say it makes a huge difference to their comfort level.
I’d love to hear how you use your belly to help you be a braver speaker! Leave your feedback in comments section.
Fear is primal – prehistoric. It’s considered human’s first emotion, and It’s often beyond – or beneath – our conscious control. It’s also not rational much of the time. The Liz Gilbert, author of Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear says “Basically, your fear is like a mall cop who thinks he’s a Navy SEAL: He hasn’t slept in days, he’s all hopped up on Red Bull, and he’s liable to shoot at his own shadow in an absurd effort to keep everyone “safe.” And sometimes that cop keeps us from doing what we want – like stepping up to the podium, speaking at the rally, or even sharing our voice in a meeting.
So what can we do about fear of public speaking?
First we have to get used to feeling a little afraid every day, because we will. Next we have to listen to our fear to figure out what it’s really telling us. So get a pen and paper and think about your fear of public speaking. What EXACTLY are you afraid of? What would happen if your worst fears were to come true? Would people laugh at you? Leave your talk? Stand up and say, “that’s baloney!” (I’ve heard those fears – and many more.) No matter how wacky or even scary it seems, get it down in technicolor detail.
Now that you have named and described your fear, give yourself a pat on the back cause it’s not easy. Now ask yourself gently, “How realistic is my fear?” Many of things we fear are extremely unlikely, but still they help us identify feelings or memories holding us back. That’s why we have to flesh them out so carefully. But sometimes our fears are realistic, and they can tell us what we need to work on. I’m going to give you an example from my own experience.
Look to your belly to learn why you speak
There’s another reason to look to your belly - it’s where you find your fire - the fire that fuels your desire to speak. Maybe it’s an injustice that’s got you angry, a desire to change something, or a passion for the planet that makes you feel you must speak, even if you’re nervous about it.
For some of you, that fire may be a blazing bonfire that can be seen for miles; for others it may be tiny, sputtering little thing, more sparks than flame. It’s there, but it needs nurturing. That’s okay, you can nurture it. Be glad of your blaze whatever it is because many people don’t have a passion – or can’t find it.
Okay, one more thing about the belly
So the belly is your source of fear, and fire, but did you know it’s a built-in ever-ready relaxation machine? That’s because of its role in breathing. Your belly is an easy to see reminder that deep breaths help you get comfortable at any and every moment. And the power of breathing deeply is a secret weapon for great speakers – and nervous speakers. If you’ve ever taken yoga, meditation, or voice lessons, you know that deep “belly breaths” relax you, ground you, and focus you in the moment. Try it: place your hands on your belly and breathe so that your belly swells as the air fills your lungs. It’s not that the air actually goes into your belly, but deep breaths make your diaphragm push down on your belly.
“Belly breathing” is an instant way to relax yourself before and during speaking. And it works to help deepen your voice and slow your talking speed, two things which can help you sound more powerful and authoritative. The next time you have a challenging speaking situation, try breathing your way through it. Many speakers I work with say it makes a huge difference to their comfort level.
I’d love to hear how you use your belly to help you be a braver speaker! Leave your feedback in comments section.
Women already walk the walk. Now they need to talk the talk.
I have a new mission. I want – no change that – I need to help women be more confident about speaking up, speaking out, and letting their voice be heard everywhere. I want women to step up to the stage at work, at church, in boardrooms, conferences hall, and rallies. Wherever there are ears in a room, I want women at the front, talking! I want this for women no matter their religion or political party or opinion. And it’s not just me that needs women to speak up, it’s our entire world.
"Wherever there are ears
in a room, I want women
at the front, talking!"
In my organization, Speak Up! I help women become more comfortable, confident and compelling public speakers. Most of them are jittery about public speaking. Some are stomach-churningly, sweat-drippingly terrified. In fact, some women have turned down job or advancement opportunities because public speaking was required. I would really like to stop hearing that. I don’t blame the women; I blame our sexist world. But I want to help the women step up to that podium gladly – or at least willingly.
The weird thing is, these women may not be reticent about leadership – they will take risks and responsibility, manage projects, keep teams in line. It’s not the leading that scares some women, it’s the speaking. So many women already walk the walk, but they don’t talk the talk!
Women have understandable reasons for being nervous. Our world judges women more harshly than men, devalues their offerings, and even actively silences them. And many women grew up at a time when they were not encouraged to speak up and lacked role models.
So there’s lots of rational reasons for “podium avoidance syndrome,” but my work is telling women why they should get over it. And I’d like to share three big reasons with you.
Three reasons why you should overcome “podium avoidance syndrome.”
1. You can have a larger say in your profession and your world. Those who can speak – and do speak – carry the persuasive power. In our world, anywhere you look, you see that women are vastly underrepresented where important decisions are made – in the legislatures, the boardrooms, the churches. There are many ways to make women more visible, but a crucial one is women speaking out publicly about issues that matter to them. If you want to see things change anywhere, you have got to be able to say something about it, often repeatedly, and often to large groups of people. That’s how stuff happens.
2. You will get to know yourself in a whole new way. Public speaking yields rich insight not just into your topic or you audience, but into yourself! As you see how much the audience responds to your talk or presentation, you develop more respect for your own ideas. And as you gain practice, get feedback, try new things, you will see rapid improvement. For women who are interested in self-development for personal, professional, or social reasons, there is no more effective accelerant. Not to mention the gigantic boost to your self-esteem. And the good news is, this is all within your reach. Once you get over the fear, getting the skills isn’t really that hard. (Don’t tell that to the people who pay me a lot of money!)
3. You will be a model for other women – and girls. If you care about seeing more women have influence and visibility at work, in politics, and everywhere, then lead by example. Each time a younger colleague, a daughter, or a niece, sees you getting up to speak, they inch closer to seeing themselves in that role. This is what’s been happening with men – for centuries. Now let’s get it started with women – with you speaking up or out, in a small way, making a presentation at work, addressing the congregation at church, talking about your business at a networking meeting, or standing up for a cause at a rally. You can do it. The world needs you to.
Photo courtesy of gratisography.com
Humor is truth, only faster.
Gilda Radner
“Should I add humor to my presentation?” “How can I make my talk funnier?” These are questions that clients routinely ask me. And I am happy to tell them why they should “find the funny” and how to use it to boost the impact of their presentation. As a communication consultant slash stand-up comic, I know that humor is the “special sauce” that engages audiences and makes your message unforgettable.
Why does humor work so well?
Here’s just a few reasons: Humor “keeps it real”; it reveals more of your personality, failures, challenges, etc. to the audience so they can form a relationship with you. And when you are able to get a laugh at your own expense, it shows your resilience and optimism. It also makes you relatable to the audience because it shows you to be human and fallible, just like them. Humor, like stories, create bonds between you and your listeners that go deep. And humor doesn’t just make people love you, it makes them remember you. Laughter activates our attention so that we easily remember what we heard right before and after we laugh.
But what if I’m not “naturally funny”?
Many people I work with tell me that they are not “naturally funny,” (even when they’ve made me laugh at something seconds before). The problem is that they are comparing themselves to famous professionals. It’s as if expert status - like Jerry Seinfeld or Amy Schumer level - is the only acceptable standard of funniness. “Well, I don’t have an HBO special or a job on Saturday Night Live, so I guess I shouldn’t even try.” The truth is that most of us get laughs occasionally, and if people laugh at what you say, even once in a while, then you are officially and “naturally” funny. And more importantly, you can learn to be even funnier.
Scared straight – fear mongering the funny
If you search the internet for tips on using humor, you’ll find some good ones, but you’ll also find plenty of warnings and "THINGS TO AVOID." I think all these “don’ts” scare the crap out of the average person – hey, it’s not as if you want to get on stage naked! So it’s my mission to encourage you to add more humor. If you’re in front of audiences regularly, then you can try stuff, tweak it, and try it again, just as you do with other talk: story, sequencing, gestures, visuals, etc. And then you’ll be like the professionals - honing your chops.
Here’s how to find your funny
Click link below for specific how-to-be-funny-tips. But remember, as you find your funny, don’t expect instant miracles. Be patient, allow yourself to experiment and refine repeatedly. Remember that this is supposed to be fun for you too. If you enjoy it, that’s great, keep going and maybe even take an improv class to boost your skills and creative thinking. And if you find that humor isn’t really for you, that’s okay too. These tips may help you just have a bit more fun with your audience.
To get my free tip sheet on exactly how to add humor to your talk click here.
Have you tried to add humor to your talk or presentation? How did it go? I’d love to know and so would everyone else. Please share your experiences and thought in the comments!