Why can't Maria help Danielle? Extreme Email Makeover!

Meet Maria, a Human Resources specialist at a large human services organization.  Maria gets dozens of emails a day, most of them asking her to do something. She tries to comply with these requests, but sometimes she gets an email like the one from Danielle (below), and it’s not so easy.  Read Danielle’s email and see Maria’s uncensored thoughts in the balloons. Then check out the “Extreme Email Makeover.” 

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Here's two possible extreme makeovers of Danielle's email, along with Maria's reaction. What do you think? 

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How to "say it better" in email - and get the response you want. 

1. Get to the point as quickly as possible. Don't make your reader use a "mental detector" to get your meaning. 
2. If you have a question, make it stand out so the reader sees it fast.  And, if you have more than one question, put your questions in a numbered list with a heading.